i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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