they need to just BURY HIM!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
