i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
