you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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