u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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