I just found a bag of teeth...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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