What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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