You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
