Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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