Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
