Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
