I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
