so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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