just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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