Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
