I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
