A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
