i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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