Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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