seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
