$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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