you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
