how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
