its not stalking. its research.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
