you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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