I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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