I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
