Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
