I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
