Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
