I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
