lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You may now shotgun with the bride
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
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