Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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