I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
