I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Life is so much better after having sex.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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