worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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