Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
