i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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