So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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