I wanna bring you to show and tell
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
