the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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