i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
