I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Congratulations! We have a period
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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