How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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