i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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