I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
please come you make the beer taste better
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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