I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
