yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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