i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
