trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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