batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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