Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he was CRYING into my vagina
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
