what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
