this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
