WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
