Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
