i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
