you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
