It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
