So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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