4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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