how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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