do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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